My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
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Can February march?
Is there a hole in your shoe?
I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome.
What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?
Dad Joke Time: What you gonna do when they come for you? Groan. Loudly! #DadJokes #Humor https://youtube.com/shorts/Vz9iVTzAixc
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Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?
I tried to write a chemistry joke, but could never get a reaction.
Bonus #DadJoke
Q: Why are there no "knock-knock jokes" about America?
A: Because freedom rings.
(It's #HootinTootinTuesday again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to #Mastodon.)
Don't buy flowers at a monastery.
Just been banned from the local karaoke bar for requesting Danger Zone over and over.
Too many Loggins requests.
Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore.
Why do nurses carry around red crayons?
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it's at!
I bought shoes from a drug dealer once.
Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch?
Eldest has just lost a tooth and is excited about the 1€ coming in exchange for it.
Youngest asks, "how does the tooth fairy know when to come for a tooth?"
Dad responds, "maybe she can sniff teeth out?"
"Nah," said I. "I'm friends with her, I just let her know. I've got her on Faebook."
How do you make a water bed more bouncy.
What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?